Toute Seule

Today marks the third week since I officially "moved" to Paris.
Funny in the last few weeks it never really felt like I left "home."
In some ways it just felt like another trip out - especially since the three weeks was broken up with a week in Stockholm so it didn't really feel like Paris is now my "home."

This morning, I received an Email from IT telling me my French mobile is "ready."
As soon as I went to pick it up from IT, I called Virgin Mobile to cancel my current month-to-month plan and switched it to the prepaid plan, rendering my old phone to be completely disconnected while I'm out of Canada.

I didn't really pay any attention to my new phone until I was off work, which was nearly 8pm. This was when I realized that data for my new phone was not working. At that moment, I felt a little hollow. I am now completely "disconnected" from Toronto.

And it's not as if my old cell phone was roaming the entire last three weeks (I only allowed data when I was desperate) or that I couldn't connect my old phone to WiFi - but the idea that my main French phone was not a window for me to connect to a life that i was so perfectly comfortable with, made that Canadian life feel officially out of reach.

I'm not entirely sure whether a part of this was due some disagreeable events with my relocation that transpired, or if the phone really was subconsciously symbolic to me, but, tonight, I am feeling homesick.

I feel pretty alone out here in a land where even the natural facility at which I am most apt--language--is foreign to me. Nevertheless, what is, perhaps, the most unfortunate, is that this must not come as a surprise to anyone, not even myself.