My blank is better than your blank

lynnie: plus, im convinced that no matter what ur place looks like, mine is gonna be better
MUAHAHAHAHA
Matt: disagree
lynnie: you would, wouldnt you
Matt : mine has hand laid wood floors
yours has BOSTON
ergo, mine is better
QED
lynnie: yours has you, and mine has ME
ergo mine is better
QED
:D
Matt: it has not been established that u are better than me
therefore your argument is flawed
lynnie: haha so is urs
Matt: whereas my floors are DEFINITIVELY better than Boston
lynnie: how does that even work
my car is better than your slippers
Matt: well you see
matt's floors = awesome
and boston = the suck
lynnie: my lamp is better than your door
Matt: and since awesome > the suck
lynnie: my bathroom is better than your pencil
Matt: then by association, matt's floors > boston
lynnie: my book is better than your chair
Matt: yo man, my pencil totally owns ur bathroom
u have not seen my epic pencil
lynnie: LOL
my tissue box is better than ur booger
Matt: if God wrote the commandments w/ a pencil he would surely use one just like mine
unfortunately he actually chiselled them into stone
lynnie: my chisel is better than your stone
QED
Matt: I don't have a stone
lynnie: wait
i dont have a chisel
nm
Matt : lol even if u did that would not be a particularly sour point for me
lynnie: my name is better than your mirror
my elevator is better than your middle finger
Matt: my hour is better than your LIFE
lynnie: haha, see finally u make a comparison that makes sense, though untrue
Matt: or... completely true
lynnie: fine u can have that one
Matt: LOL
lynnie: but my apartment is still better
Matt: I'm not sure that's the one u wanted to give up Lynn