The Rock

I realize the following paragraphs will become a conversational piece, especially for some of you who have been silently keeping up with this blog, but it probably doesn't mean what you think it means.

On my flight back from SFO on Wednesday, the woman sitting next to me reminded me of Kim Kardashian, except in her late 30s if not early 40s. She had long dark black hair and olive skin, and despite she moves and talks with the utmost forced femininity, the thick amount of makeup couldn't hide all the thick and thin lines across her entire face. From afar, there's no doubt she looked good: leather jacket, TNA leggings, still in good shape, etc. It's not hard to tell that she takes good care of herself; from the American Express she keeps swiping on the screen in front of me, the Mac Air she was using the entire flight, and the GIGANTIC rock on her finger, you can tell she has both the time and the money to take care of herself--and she does.

I swear the diamond on her finger was unnaturally large, maybe the size of a dime, and obviously a lot thicker (2-3cm?). I'm not gonna lie, I couldn't stop looking at it and secretly wished that one day I can sport a rock this big. And herein lies the irony---just a few days ago, J, one of my awesome awesome coworkers at Fremont, was telling me how she had a dream wedding last year in Prague with close families and friends for an entire weekend (40 ppl) and a dream honey moon (10 days on a small Greek island, removed from any signs of tourists, at a cottage on top of the hill, overlooking the island) while completely forgoing an engagement ring. Her wedding ring had a diamond on it, but it was not those big engagement ones.

At the moment when J was telling me about her whole wedding, I was thinking that this is exactly what I had always wanted--I don't wear jewelery and I don't care to have a large wedding that requires a year's worth of planning--I just want to celebrate the occasion with people i love, and just have fun.

And here is where I feel like I need to clarify again: If you guys are thinking that I must be wedding-crazy and that you guys are about to be attending our wedding, just know that nothing is happening any time soon.

But yes, I have been thinking about weddings and honeymoons lately, and what I want to do for mine. I can't seem to help it. Recently, left, right, and center, I'm attending weddings, looking at ppl's wedding photos, and hearing people talk about weddings. I know I have mentioned all of this before, but when I was little, I never thought about what my wedding would be like, or what my ring would be like, because I just never thought about it. Now that everyone is getting married, it probably won't hurt to just think about what I would want to do one day, because, admittedly, it is an important day--I don't want to look back one day and regret that I had a nonchalant attitude towards me taking a huge step in my life, right?

Anyway, every time I go to a wedding, hear about a wedding, read about a wedding of someone I know, etc., my mind will change a bit. I do know that I want a wedding with just people I know, and not a bunch of people I've never met in my life. And I want simplicity and elegance, which sounds cheesy but thats the type of cheesy i want.

But what about the rock? Big? regular? or none at all?
Thankfully, this decision won't need to be made imminently.
In all likelihood, if i were a billionaire (or married to a billionaire) i'd want a gigantic ring but end up never wearing it.
Since I am a middle-class consumer, I guess perhaps I should really opt to skip the engagement ring and put the money toward something else. Would that be too pragmatic?

Sometimes I feel like pragmatics and relationships are mutually exclusive. It's like trying to put logic in love...