Monday, November 15, 2010

Thank you Movember

for helping me realize that I find men with facial hair attractive.

Latest realization of turn-ons:
  • facial hair
  • nerds who are passionate about humanities (or any sort of field they can excel at--whether finances or technology, but especially humanities).

Already realized turn-ons:
  • shaved head...not necessarily due to natural hair loss..haha
  • witty, i.e., smart and funny

All-time biggest turn off:
  • men who spend too much time on their appearance, including working out and dressing up.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Blind Faith

I turn 27 in January.

A couple generations ago, at age 27, people were already married for a few years and were having kids. Things seem to have been so easy back then, to find the right person, to be with the right person, and to have a family with the right person.

Or was it?

I guess the theory doesn't stand if you start accounting for all the divorces, and the billions of books on relationship published since the beginning of time.

I grew up in the suburbs and so did most of my friends. We're all about the same age, plus or minus one or two.
None of the people in my groups of friends are married. Some are in serious relationships but with no immediate plans of marriage. Some are in pseudo-serious relationships with no plans of marriage. Some are single.

Those who are single are looking. They deal with their uncertainty in many ways. Some are scared to let themselves take the plunge even when meeting the potentially right person. Some are dating serially in hopes of finding the right one soon. Some try to change themselves, some don't. Some lament about their lack of relationship status, some try not to think about it, some convince themselves that they are happy, some really are happy.

Those who are in pseudo-serious relationships are the ones who are settling. Some have convinced themselves that they are with the right person, even though deep down inside, they are still wondering whether the person they are with is the one. Some know they don't truly love the person and that there are problems, but they don't know what else to do. Some people are happy with settling. Some people are not. Some people are not even sure. But when you settle, everyone else around you can tell.

Admittedly, relationships aren't easy.

In fact, relationships are so complicated that there's just no right way of doing something. I didn't settle and I accepted the fact that I could be single for the rest of my life. But that doesn't mean there aren't people out there who can settle, who wants to settle, and who needs to settle. And there are people who can't bear the fact of being alone. I dated around but I didn't sleep around. But that doesn't mean that there aren't people who don't date around and still found the right person. It also doesn't mean that if you sleep around you won't.

And then there's a difference between being in a happy relationship and being in love. I genuinely believe that you can be in a happy relationship without being in love, but it depends on your personality.

I'm no relationship expert, but here is my take on it...

A happy relationship, for me, is this:
  • Self-knowledge. Understand yourself, know your strengths and flaws, and don't be greedy. Nothing in life will ever be perfect, but if you can figure out the best ratio for gain and compromise for you, and you alone, then it's easier to be happy.
  • Commitment. Make sure you can commit to your decisions. If you decided to settle, don't question it and regret it. If you are going to question it and regret it, then don't settle and commit to not settling. If you're always flip-flopping in between, things will never be easy.
Love, for me, is this:
  • Risk. To let yourself love, and be loved, is always always always a risk. Because you can wake up one day hurt and wounded. Because you can wake up one day alone, and regret never having settled for someone whom you did not love but would have kept you company forever.
  • Luck. But luck comes to those who are prepared.
  • Belief. Sometimes it's just blind faith that the right person will come along.

I honestly believe that we all have so much time still to find the right person, as long as we keep believing. Cheesy, I know, but I really mean it.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Politics of Politics

Walking around the city and even surfing around on FB, I am bombarded with the phrase "Did you Vote?"
Even my temporary MA driver's license said in big bold letters "YOU DID NOT REGISTER TO VOTE TODAY."

The best part is likely when I was at the T stop and a woman tried to hand us pamphlets while saying "Did you vote?" We shook our heads at her, subconsciously rejecting the pamphlet and answering her question. She scowled at us like we are awful American citizen.

Look lady, you can try to shame us into voting, but do you really want a Canadian voting on American politics? We'll turn you socialist in no time! (Okay, maybe not with the recent Ford election...)