Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Does it bother you too?

This post really bugs me:

Charity gifts
Hi Toronto,

A friend of mine is getting married at the end of May, and I would like to get her a gift from a store that donates some of its proceeds to charity. Ideally, I would just make a donation in her name, but she and her hub to be really need some housewares and stuff to start a life together.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Ideally I'm looking for a store like ( they donate proceeds to the Stephen Lewis Foundation), but in this case, I can't get them edibles.


Does it bother you too?

Friday, April 17, 2009

Robert Pattinson is too funny

Twilight star's amazing powers of boredom

In the 2008 vampire romance Twilight, Robert Pattinson's character had the ability to rip people to shreds with his teeth. In real-life, the actor has a much more mundane talent.
Pattinson, 22, told Creme magazine that he managed to shake off one of his many obsessive fans simply by being a bore.
"I had a stalker while filming a movie in Spain," Pattinson said. "She stood outside of my apartment every day for weeks — all day, every day. I was so bored and lonely that I went out and had dinner with her."
It was at this point that Pattinson, who's currently preparing to start shooting the Twilight sequel New Moon, unleashed his powers of boredom on the unsuspecting stalker.
"I just complained about everything in my life and she never came back," he said. "People get bored of me in, like, two minutes


I think I'm going to follow him online from now on cuz he's so funny

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Institution of Marriage

For some odd reason, I feel that everywhere I turn nowadays, the talk of marriage is ubiquitous. I mean, yeah, last summer, I heard about people's weddings and attended some, which sparked some thoughts about marriage in my head, i.e., what type of wedding I would like, but the fleeting thoughts quickly turned into what am I going to eat tomorrow and will I be a bum for the rest of my life, etc. But as spring arrives and wedding season approaches, the talk of matrimony seems to be crawling in and not out of my life. You know, first I hear about my ex-boyfriend's wedding , then news of my semi-friends (people I sometimes hang out with but not often enough to attend their weddings) began to show up in my chat windows and next thing you know, the news consummates with pictures of engagements and weddings my Facebook home feed (excuse the pun, I couldn't help it). I hang out with Adam's cousins and it's all wedding talk, as one of them is getting married. It seems like even when I turn on the TV (by tv I mean, I somehow end up watching shows and movies about marriage (bride wars, rachel getting married, grey's anatomy, even the simpsons where marge and homer had to remarry for the fifth time).

Perhaps one of the most exciting, and somewhat disturbing for me, news is my friend, a girl I met in first year, whom I consoled about her relationships throughout undergrad, has gotten engaged to someone I also know. Not that I'm not excited for her, I'm actually genuinely happy that the guy she went out with in our third year is the one for her and I think they're such a great match, it's just that I feel a little left out that I'm not even close to that step. It's hard to convey this dissonance I have. Whenever I hear about people I know are engaged and getting married, I get this pang of anguish, like, when is it my turn?! At that point, I usually have to remind myself that I don't want to get married yet. And yet every time the pang jolts me, I wonder whether or not I'm lying to myself about not wanting to get married right now.

Countless number of ppl have asked me when's the big day for me and Adam and I keep telling them not any time soon: we are neither in the financial nor in the mental state to become a married couple. So what is bothering me?

The question really boils down to what is marriage and what is so important about getting married? And what is the difference between being in a loving relationship vs. getting married? Here's a list of what the institution of marriage provides for us that a common-law relationship cannot:
  • A wedding - a procedure to formally announce, as well as to celebrate, your matrimony to and with you family and friends.
  • Security - an assauging contract that states you will have a life-partner whom you can depend on financially or the law will lay its fingers on said partner (until you get a divorce anyway)
  • Symbolic proof - a promise to each other that "you are the one" and that you have found someone who will love you unconditionally.
  • Stability - knowing that you will never have to be alone again and not having to go out and look for a partner.

So here is the part where I get to apply these points to myself.
  • Do I want a wedding? Sort of, but not right now. I don't want a big wedding, just like 20 ppl I love being there. And currently I don't have the time, the finance, nor the will to plan a wedding.
  • Do I need the law to ensure I have emotional and financial stability? No, I hope I never have to depend on a man for financial stability the law cannot make a peron be emotionally supportive. Maybe eventually if I have kids.
  • Do I need a symbolic proof from Adam that I am the one? I am NEVER one for symbolic gestures. You can always break your promise.
  • Do I want stability in my life? Yes, I do. And therein lies the pang of anguish. I envy the people who are moving into a stable part in the course of life. What getting married means is that they are (or at least should be) financially and emotionally stable enough to be married. It's a stage in life that people will get to eventually. The reality is that there are such things as divorces. Marriage may give the illusion of stability of relationship, but it is not eternal assurance. I envy that they are at the part of their life that is stable but I am clearly not there yet, not until both Adam and I have a job and have found a place to live in which we are both happy. Getting married will not make anything in my life "stable." Thus, the envy is not in the marriage, but in that I feel to be a little bit behind in life, compared to some.
The other day, my mom and I were talking about my future and I told her that I have no intention of getting married. She was quite shocked, worried, and slightly annoyed. For me, I was surprised that it came out of me. Was it a Freudian slip? The truth is, I don't need the stuff the instituion of marriage offers. I wouldn't mind having it eventually, but it's ok as long as I'm with the person I love and that I am leading a life that makes me happy.

Marriage? Doesn't guarantee any of that.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Twilight: Part Deux

Last September, I wrote about my thoughts on the book Twilight,claiming it was a piece of badly-written fanfic. One would think that if I really meant what I said, I would not go and buy the second book of that series. Oh, but I did. One day in December, I was feeling miserable. So while waiting for Adam to pick me up after work, I went into Chapters and asked the salesperson where they store the second book for the series. "New Moon?" the very nice, seemingly non-judgmental dude asked me. "Umm...sure..the second one." I paid my $12 after waiting in a long line and met up with Adam. To be fair, I read somewhere that the second one was the best of the series. I was lied to.

Honestly, I have no right to criticize this book, since it was my choice to buy it (I might harbour a subconscious love for trashy novels?), so I'll stop at conveying to you about the fact that I skipped literally half of the pages in the book and wanted to kill myself every time the main character of the story referred to herself as Juliet and to her perfect Vampire boyfriend as Romeo.

And since the third book has not been published in paperback yet, I've caught myself looking at the strategically placed sale signs for the hardcover books whenever I'm in Wal-Mart. I have will power dammit!!! And then I had dinner at Rita's last Thursday, who generously lent me her copy of the third book, telling me that this is actually the best one of the series. I finished the book in a day, and she didn't lie to me. Bad writing aside, Eclipse, as I learned the name from Rita that night, is actually better than the previous book (which doesn't really say much).

So Rita has kindly offered to lend me the fourth book, which I'll probably end up reading even though I know I should not. To redeem myself of this guilty pleasure, I offer you guys some funny critiques of the series.
  • points out exactly what is wrong with the series, with a sense of humour. This is honestly a good read.
The thing is, if you think about it, I'm probably not the only one with this guilty pleasure, with all these crazy critiques of the series going around.