Second Pregnancy: Week 8

I have to admit, i feel slightly better yesterday and today. By slightly, i mean, my stomach is not in PAIN all day long. I am still nauseous and i am still gagging with discomfort in my stomach all day, but it's not painful. I have threw up twice in the morning in the last two days, so i am wondering if that's what's actually helping?

My mother is tired of my ass at home. I spoke to my boss on Friday, who told me i can just do whatever makes me comfortable, which sometimes is a double-edged sword, because i feel also guilty doing nothing, so that doesnt make me comfortable. But Caleb and i agreed that i am not in the right state to go to the office and sitting in front of the computer for any period of time makes me really nauseous so i am trying to do what i can. A lot of my work these days are proactive rather than reactive. I have two people running one of the groups i am responsible for, and the other group i have no one, but has been slow. Another project i am running is being actually run by two senior directors above me so i have very little to do. i wish i can stop feeling guilty.

But going back to my mom. This morning, she made me sour-spicy soup, as i had requested the night before. A few weeks ago, i had a really awesome one at Yauatcha in india (The place has a michelin start in london) and for some reason i really wanted some. Well, my mom made it really differently, with a ton of stuff i cant stand right now, and then she made me second pot without all the stuff (Still not to my expectations) but now i have no appetite for it. She said she is tired of all the food lying around the house unfinished and me groaning and moaning around the house. She was like that with my last pregnancy - i was in toronto around the late 20s week mark and she was tired of me too, because i could not stop gagging and had a lot of eating restrictions. She keeps saying how no one she knows is like me and how i need to get my ass to the office or out of the hourse because thats how i will feel better.

But yesterday, i took callan out to the park and came back with hives all over me, and was very tired from holding back my gag when i was talking to another english speaking mom i ran into at the park. I went out yesterday because i was actually feeling slightly better, i am not entirely sure going out helped. Chicken or egg? Whatever.

Anyway with this pregnancy, for sure i have a lot more smell aversions. i dont recall from turbo. I cannot stand the smell of onions and most food smells make me a bit nauseous. Some chemical smells make me feel really bad, like the handsoap i love from bath and body works is making me ill. Same with my mom's facecream and the facewash in our bathroom. Not all the smells though, some of the smells calm me too. it's very strange. Most of the smell in this house makes me ill. including my own hair, and the outside air makes me ill. i have no place to go really.

I sleep a lot more this round too. i twas hard to sleep with turbo, but with butterball, i fall asleep quite often lying on the couch or in bed. i wake up feeling like crap though. there's a period between me trying to fall asleep and actually asleep where i feel pretty horrible and then the period after i wake up. being a sleep permanently seems to be my best state of being.

Hopefully tomorrow, caleb will take me to the clinic to get my blood test done, and then we can go to the office together. i am still not able to concentrate tho. i need reactive work.