Week 11: still first trimester - feels like it's never going to end.

So i haven't been taking my prenatal vitamin last week because i was feeling so sick. Over the last week i was feeling much better so on monday night i took it. Then it went all downhill from there. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday (today) had been non-stop heaving and actually threw up last night in the middle of the night. Every time i eat something and i feel sick after i stop wanting to eat that item, so im starting to really run out of food options to eat. i had read that Popsicle are supposed to help so i went and bought a Popsicle mould. And then yesterday after eating it every time i wanna gag, i now associate popsicles with throwing up. nice.

i had thought rice, my favourite comfort food would never make me puke, but last night i puked out alll rice. now i cant eat it. the fridge is full of food i made and can't touch again.

so then i stopped taking my prenatal again, which is pretty bad because im supposed to at least be taking folic acid. i went to the pharmacy on tuesday and picked up just folic acid under the direction of di, and yet i still have yet to take it. im eating regularly but because i feel so terrible 90% of the time, i find it hard to swallow pills.

my boss keeps lecturing me on making sure i have enough calcium. but i've been having the runs and i couldnt tell if it's from the vitamin or from the milk and yogurt i have with cereal. yesterday while i was on a call, i had to stop the call for 10 minutes while i ran to the bathroom. i spent a few hrs in the grocery store yesterday comparing all the different milk and their calcium and i found lactose free milk, which i had with my cereal this morning. i hope this will solve this.

im gonna try to make cantonese congee tomorrow to see how it works out. they always say when you start having a child youd want to be closer to home - i hadn't believed this but now i really do. i wish my mom was here taking care of me. as much as ppl around me here try to help, none of them can cook what my mom cooks and caleb definitely cannot cook any chinese food.

i wake up every morning and i dont want to get up because im so uncomfortable and i know i'll start gagging as soon as i start moving. i keep tellling caleb i wanna rip my upper stomach out cuz it's always hurting, or retire for good so i dont have to get up in the morning. the fear on his face about my retiring is both funny and scary. sigh.

honestly everyday feels like im passing a year.