On Saturday, I attended the first wedding among my high school friends. The ceremony was at St. Andrew's Church in Markham and started at 11am. Our group gathered at Nick's house at 10am so we can all go there together. We have not dressed up as a group since prom, so this was a pretty significant event for us, on top of which Row's also the first of our friends who got married. As my prof says from Cognitive Rhetoric, "And now the dominoes begin to fall..."
Unlike most girls, I never really dreamed nor thought about my wedding. I was certain that I wanted to get married when I'm 23 (ahoy! I'm 24...) but that was about the extent to which the word marriage crossed my mind. You hear a lot of stories about girls who get married because they wanted a wedding and I never really understood the glamour that's attached to having a big wedding. After going to Row's wedding and seeing how happy she was, the thought of getting married for the sake of getting married is actually even more absurd to me.
Recently I watched the movie 27 Dresses and the main characters discussed their favourite part of a wedding. They both said their favourite part was looking at the joy of the groom's face as he watches the bride walk into the altar. We sat at the top balcony and had a good view of the ceremony taking place and thus, I couldn't help but watch the groom's face as the bride walked in and, as cheesy as it sounds, the joy and excitement, or rather, the love, shown on Paul's face as Rowena was led into the church really made me understand why there are people out there who cry at every wedding. And Rowena too, she looked so beautiful and so radiant...so happy. Watching her smile actually made me teary and emotional just knowing how happy she must be. I mean..just look at them!!!
Why would you want to have a wedding in the absence of that emotional bond between yourself and your significant other? To me, that connection is intrinsic to the wedding. As glamourous and expensive the wedding, what makes the wedding a wedding is that almost palpable mixture of the connection between the two newly weds and the bliss that permeates the air. Without that feeling, a wedding is just another dreadful, drawn-out social event, like a company Christmas party with a bunch of people you probably have never even exchanged hellos.
I don't want to say that going to Row's wedding made me want to get married, but going to her wedding made me stop not wanting to have a wedding. It actually made me look forward to the day that I can feel as happy as she does. As idealistic and impractical as it may sound, I don't want it to be about the wedding...or even marriage...I just want that blissful anxiety, the moment when you can't wait for your life to start with the person you love. I know.. cheese....
At any rate, Row's reception apparently had around 600 people...now that's a big wedding. Here's our table and here's some of us in a pic with Rowena. Doesn't she look so pretty?
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6 comments:
ur right... it's uber cheese. i puked in my mouth a little bit
i hope you choke...
-.-
I hope you know that after that blissful anxiety, that single moment that you purposely created, that milestone right there...is where the rest of your life goes down from. So from that moment on, you'll know, that you will never get any closer to ecstasy.
rofl, try telling that to kim!
i think if you can have that blissful anxiety, then it can't go downhill. it's only if you don't, then the problems begin!
Did you know I actually don't believe in marraige? :P (surprise) ok, maybe not to that extent, but I totally get the whole common-law, living together thingy..
but the truth is, we will never (or unlikely) experience that "groom watching the bride down the aisle" moment unless we actually get married. So I think for me, I got married because I wanted to experience those emotional/joyful moments. (is this lame? I don't know, haha)
p.s. A friend of mine might be having a destination wedding next year.. and I'm so excited already. I love the idea of a small intimate wedding.. it's not about the grandness, but the moments of joy. I can already imagine myself crying just because it sounds so romantic :P
well i think marriage as an institution provides legal and personal security as well as a performative psychological grounding. I know this sounds sorta unsophisticated but it's a way in which people think right? People are more likely (for a good number of us anyway) to work harder at making the relationship work for the reason of not wanting a divorce. Whereas if you are not married, then you have the ability to drop everything and pretend it never happened.
I totally believe in destination weddings. That's what i want. like a 30 ppl wedding..haha
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